move.

move on.
move forward.
move gracefully with Christ.

it was a hard road, but at least I know why I am here and not there.



stronger than the memories that cut like a knife came a million healing whispers of how beautiful, clean, and new I am.  Praise be to God.

comfort.

When I’m feeling all alone and so far to go
The signs are nowhere on this road guiding me home
When the night is closing in
It’s falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don’t feel them shining
When I can’t see beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I’ve almost reached the end
Like a flood You’re rushing in
Love is rushing in

Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me

So I run straight to Your arms
You’re the bright and morning Sun
To show Your love, there’s nothing You won’t do

Light, light, light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I, I, I can’t deny
Oh I can’t deny that You are right here with me
You’ve opened my eyes so I can see You all around me
Light, light, light up the sky
Light up the sky to show me You are with me.

patience.

it is not my strong point.

loss of power on Christmas Day, no internet for two days, and now now wireless...so lots of sharing the desktop with the rest of the family.


call me spoiled (i know that i am), but i am very, selfishly, frustrated.


yep, patience is not my strong point.  i'll end with that.

prophecy.

Isaiah 9

 "¹Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan—

 ² The people walking in darkness
   have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
   a light has dawned.
³ You have enlarged the nation
   and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you
   as people rejoice at the harvest,
as warriors rejoice
   when dividing the plunder.
⁴ For as in the day of Midian’s defeat,
   you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
   the bar across their shoulders,
   the rod of their oppressor.
⁵ Every warrior’s boot used in battle
   and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning,
   will be fuel for the fire.
⁶ For to us a child is born,
   to us a son is given,
   and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
   Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
⁷ Of the greatness of his government and peace
   there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne
   and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
   with justice and righteousness
   from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
   will accomplish this."

Praise be to God for the wonderful promises that He always brings into being.

weight.

Christ tries so very hard to take it from me, but sometimes I just won't let Him.


I've spent the past hour reading through my old blog...and being reminded how much of a fool I was, how convinced I was that France had completely changed me.


Little did I know, my real change would not come until the turn of the year.


Perhaps I should just delete my old blog and not be filled with these memories that hurt so much, that weigh me down.  Granted, I think the engagement news made me do a lot of thinking too, and probably led to all of this.


In any case, perhaps I should just realize that regardless of who I was, what I thought, or how I acted, Christ has made all the difference in the world.  It doesn't matter what I went through to get to Him; He was always with me.  


And, in what is eternally the beautiful and precious good news of Christ, I am a new creation.


Here's to looking forward: looking forward while being grateful for my experiences but not letting them weigh me down.  Christ, praise and all glory, took that weight.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” --Matthew 11: 28-31

new discovery.

you shall above all things be glad and young
For if you're young, whatever life you wear

it will become you; and if you are glad
whatever's living will yourself become...

...I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.

--from "You shall above all things" by EE Cummings

soothe the soul.

there will be answer, let it be...

whisper words of wisdom, let it be...

let it be.

future.

Mumford and Sons Pandora station blasting through the house.

Folding clothes while he makes lunch.

I like this picture.

but I know I have to be careful.  Because in the end, its up to God and not me.  And I am trusting, even though its hard.

God knows.

so let's go with that.

in addition...

...Biltmore yesterday was absolutely wonderful.

best date hands down.

i am so very blessed, and still trying to figure out what I did to deserve all of this.

snow day.

well, more like ice day.

but regardless, there's nothing better than cuddling on the couch, eating chips and salsa, and watching Season One of Alias on DVD.

very happy to be stuck in Winston.

as the semester winds down, I cannot help but think about everything that has happened over the last year.  My heart has been singing a song that goes something like this:


When I made up my mind
And my heart along with that
To live not for myself
But yet for God, somebody said:
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

When I finally ironed out
All of my priorities
And asked God to remove the doubt
That makes me so unsure of these things I ask myself, 
I ask myself
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

I'm getting into You 
Because You got to me in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into You 
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love You with my life

When He looked at me and said:
I kind of view you as a [daughter]
And for one second our eyes met
And I met that with a question:
Do you know what You are getting yourself into?

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person You deserve to worship You
You say You will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do, You say:
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into

He said, I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into. 

promise.

that Saturday.
snow.
warmth and comfort.
but a cost.

now you know again.
and I re-know what I knew before.

Jesus paid for it all, but that does not mean we can choose whatever we'd like.

So, again, but more solid and stronger this time because we know how much it hurts: a promise.

holding back.

i'm way too scared to go there.

i desperately want to, and there are so many times when i feel like i should.

but the last time i was there, i came out utterly broken and lost.

so this time instead of jumping in and falling, i need to be led the whole way.