flashback.

i'm totally becoming like her.  when i dealt with that sinking ship, i always swore i would never ever put the same level of burden on anyone else.

well, either the Lord is trying to teach me some perspective, or i'm just a darn hypocrite.  or maybe it's both.

because all i know is i'm doing it to him, and my whole world would come crashing down if he ever let me go like i did her.

Lord Jesus, get me out of this mess and heal the damage.

disbelief.

cannot believe i'll be gone from this place in a week and a half.  twelve years is an awful lot of years to leave behind.

encouragement.

what a fantastic two days.  yes, stressful and busy, but I am so very encouraged about this move.  I have several great living options and I now have a better feel for the area where I'll be living.  I absolutely now know that I need my green space and a neighborhood feel, instead of feeling cramped in an apartment building.

and the best thing?  its a brand new place with new things to discover.  home will always be home, and I know I will miss it.

But I need this.  I need God to take me to a new place and refine me through fire.

And, even if everything else falls apart, i'll be near him.  and he is absolutely worth it.

my reality.

What ever my lot,
You have taught me to say,
It is well,
It is well with my soul.

Yes dear Lord, it is well with my soul.

sweet lord.

I might be scared of moving to DC but from where I'm sitting now, it sure beats staying here.

wowsers.

it hit me tonight that i could be moving to DC within the next few weeks.  i'm not trying to get ahead of myself, but i have to look at it as a realistic possibility.

can't hardly believe it.