resolution.

it is amazing to me to look at the posts the week before my relationship ended.  to see the thought process there.  to think about where i am now.

i wake up every morning telling myself, "No.  Not today," in answer to the question that is always on my heart and my mind, "Will he come back?"

maybe, just maybe, if i keep telling myself that i'll start to believe it.  yes, it will take time.  but i am resolute.  resolute and determined that the only thing in this life that i am going to wait for is the Lord.

"be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

so here's my resolution: stop looking back.  stop wishing for what has been.  whether it will ever be again or whether it is lost forever is not the point; the point is to move forward.

grow.  learn. explore.  change.

dear heart, do you not know that the Lord is making all things new?  behold, He is doing a new thing...will you not see it?

I know you like I know my reflection
Walking on the water across an ocean of desire
Everyone I know is looking for protection
...
That was the real you standing there in the shape of your body
Fear don't know no love when we're all the same
That was the real you looking back across the water
Tears falling like rain, drops rippling against the shame

Learning to love again.