Resolution

I am so tired of the way I have been living my life.  In the past year of my life, I have become a selfish, and rather stupid, person.  But I am just worn out.  I'm not happy with who I am.  I'm not happy with the decisions I make.  I'm not happy with the way I choose to treat people.

I thought that I had changed in France.  I know I learned so much, but I guess I kind of thought I'd be changed without actually doing much myself.

Last night proved me wrong.  I could not have ended 2009 in a worse way.

Although, considering everything I've experienced in the past year, maybe it was a fitting ending.  My final night of being a person I no longer want to be.  The final kick in the pants that I needed to wake up and grow up.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.  Mistakes happen.

But I'm done living in 2009.

2010 will be different.

I pray with all my heart that I've learned from my past year and will never, ever live that way again.