edge of eden.

even though the timing is all wrong, the feelings are just right.  now i know what i'm supposed to learn from this.  after being treated the way i've been treated by too many in my life over the past year, now i know how it feels to be respected and to have someone truly care for me. 

i had a conversation with best friend/roommate/amazing confidante/Mer-Mer just about a month ago in which i talked about how this past year has taught me what i truly, truly, want.   now, i have a glimpse of what that feels like.

i know that in His own way, God is teaching me perhaps more this time than in any of the other times combined.  He's teaching me that i am worth more than what i've settled for in the past; that i am more than the person i became with any of the rest of them; that i am stronger than i've let myself be; and, at the very least, that i've got so much to look forward to as i stop looking back.

i'm heading for the edge of eden.  a place of peace, acceptance, and joy.  the next year is going to be hard, i know.  its going to bring new challenges, new fears, and new sadness. but my heart is full of the right things now.  and the next time it feels empty, i know where the real fountain springs from, and that its eternal waters will always, always fill me.