what a long first day. in the car on the way home, i realized how much this summer is going to challenge me. as the tears streamed down my face, i cried out to the Lord as i realized that the love story i've been searching for will not be found anywhere but in Him. As my heart broke for my love of this world, i realized how much i have to change and how much i have to let go.
why does it hurt so much to realize that the only one who will love me the way i long to be loved is Jesus? is it because i cannot feel His presence all the time? is it because he won't text me or call me just to tell me He loves me? is it because He cannot physically hold me the way i want to be held?
in part, yes. but honestly, i think what hurts is that i'm realizing how much the world pales in comparison to Christ. and when the world is mainly what i've lived for almost 21 years, it hurts more than a little to let that go.
this summer is going to be a series of ups and downs, but not for the same reasons that used to create such a pattern in my life. no, this summer is going to be a series of ups and downs as i struggle to let myself completely, totally, unbelievably fall head over heels in love with Christ.
"We pour out our miseries,
God just hears a melody.
Beautiful, the mess we are!
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah."
No comments:
Post a Comment